i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Randomize
