I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
