She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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