All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
