I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
