And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
