thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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