Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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