Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
