found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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