Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
