Just mADE A PArabola og urine
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
where are my eyebrows?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
