She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
