i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I AM VODKA MAN
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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