he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
