i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
