How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
