Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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