It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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