ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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