Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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