How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
