I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
