Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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