At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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