That's intense
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
