we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
