Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
