guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
