I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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