Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I need a beard to bite.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
