I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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