did you get engaged???
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
