just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize
