i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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