I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
