I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
