So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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