remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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