That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
