It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
