Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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