I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
