Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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