oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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