I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
PANTIES FOUND
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize