He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
