So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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