This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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