your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
found the other keg... it's in the tree
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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