when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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