You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
