Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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