Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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