i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
you made out with another girl for some wings
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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