He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
