Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
