sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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